somehow on friday carolyn and i ended up talking about eagle man, the absolute worst commercial that used to air in chicago for as long as i can remember. let me give you a brief rundown of the story line 

opening shot: two girls with bangs measurable in inches driving along in a car. 

squeal of tires as the girls slam on the breaks. huge thump. vague suggestion of possibly being rear ended.

girl 1: whats that?

girl 2: do you have insurance on this car? 

girl 1: (way too long of a pause as she remembers her complicated line) no.

girl 2: it must be eagle man! (obviously.)

::girls exit car:: cross eyed eagle who looks like he was dug out of the basement of a costume shop 3 hours before this commercial was shot sits atop the car. 

eagleman: i’ve..got…something… for…you. 

::male eagle then proceeds to somehow lay an egg while accompanied by magical noises::

girl 1 is taken aback at this extreme miracle

::egg hatches to show us the son of eagle man, who is already holding a flyer for extremely low insurance rates in his mouth::

bang girls: awww..look at those low rates!

no one seems to notice eagle man has now dented the fuck out of her roof. 

end scene.

its the best ever. 

  1. jaimehutkin reblogged this from bgebs
  2. jarahriley reblogged this from alexxxxa
  3. alexxxxa reblogged this from shmumblr
  4. shmumblr reblogged this from bgebs and added:
    bgebs
  5. retuta reblogged this from bgebs
  6. bgebs posted this