somehow on friday carolyn and i ended up talking about eagle man, the absolute worst commercial that used to air in chicago for as long as i can remember. let me give you a brief rundown of the story line 

opening shot: two girls with bangs measurable in inches driving along in a car. 

squeal of tires as the girls slam on the breaks. huge thump. vague suggestion of possibly being rear ended.

girl 1: whats that?

girl 2: do you have insurance on this car? 

girl 1: (way too long of a pause as she remembers her complicated line) no.

girl 2: it must be eagle man! (obviously.)

::girls exit car:: cross eyed eagle who looks like he was dug out of the basement of a costume shop 3 hours before this commercial was shot sits atop the car. 

eagleman: i’…something… for…you. 

::male eagle then proceeds to somehow lay an egg while accompanied by magical noises::

girl 1 is taken aback at this extreme miracle

::egg hatches to show us the son of eagle man, who is already holding a flyer for extremely low insurance rates in his mouth::

bang girls: awww..look at those low rates!

no one seems to notice eagle man has now dented the fuck out of her roof. 

end scene.

its the best ever. 

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