somehow on friday carolyn and i ended up talking about eagle man, the absolute worst commercial that used to air in chicago for as long as i can remember. let me give you a brief rundown of the story line
opening shot: two girls with bangs measurable in inches driving along in a car.
squeal of tires as the girls slam on the breaks. huge thump. vague suggestion of possibly being rear ended.
girl 1: whats that?
girl 2: do you have insurance on this car?
girl 1: (way too long of a pause as she remembers her complicated line) no.
girl 2: it must be eagle man! (obviously.)
::girls exit car:: cross eyed eagle who looks like he was dug out of the basement of a costume shop 3 hours before this commercial was shot sits atop the car.
eagleman: i’ve..got…something… for…you.
::male eagle then proceeds to somehow lay an egg while accompanied by magical noises::
girl 1 is taken aback at this extreme miracle
::egg hatches to show us the son of eagle man, who is already holding a flyer for extremely low insurance rates in his mouth::
bang girls: awww..look at those low rates!
no one seems to notice eagle man has now dented the fuck out of her roof.
its the best ever.